FOR THOSE LOOKING AT THE LARGER WHOLE
Systemic coaching
The Hague or online.
The Hague or online.
You notice that certain things keep repeating in your life. Relationships that break down in a similar way. Roles at work you take on again and again. Feelings of being an outsider, or feeling responsible for everyone.
You have already understood much about why that is. And still, on a deeper level, it does not really change.
That may be because you are looking on the wrong level. Some patterns are not yours alone. They run through families, through generations, through organisations. Systemic work looks at that larger whole, and that is not vague at all, but actually very grounding.
Most people come to systemic coaching after years of other forms of awareness work. They have read, talked, reflected. And still something keeps hanging that does not let itself be resolved.
By now you know why you do certain things. You also know why it does not help. But in the moment you pick it up again. That is not because you learn slowly. It is because insight alone does not always bring movement.
Sometimes you have reactions that seem disproportionate to what is happening. Anger that is too big, grief that is not entirely yours, loyalty that cannot be explained. It feels as if you are dealing with things that are not really yours.
You are always the caring one, or the critical one, or the successful one, or the one who makes it right. You have tried to let that role go. It keeps coming back, no matter who you work with.
Systemic coaching makes room for patterns that cannot be explained by your personal history alone. We look at your place in larger wholes, work with what becomes felt there, and explore what shifts when you stand differently.
We do not stay on the layer of the individual story. We include context, origin, and the unspoken rules of the systems you live in. That brings insights that are not available on a personal level.
Sessions last 1.5 to 2 hours. Systemic work asks for attention that can slowly settle. Everything is welcome. Without judgement, with full attention.
What you say here stays here. Systemic work can be intensive at times, but always at a pace you can handle.
Sessions take place on location in The Hague (indoor or outdoor), online, or a combination.
Systemic work has something of its own. The effects are sometimes subtle and only clear afterwards. They are also often lasting, because something has changed on a deeper level.
The recurring dynamics in relationships, work or family take on a different charge. Sometimes you are still in the middle of them, but the automatic reflex softens.
Who you are in your family, team or work environment becomes clearer. Not by thinking more, but by standing differently. That feels different on all sides.
Sometimes something releases that you did not know was stuck. Loss, loyalty, an image from the family. When it moves, you are freer.
When old pictures shift, room often arises for choices that were not in view before. Work, relationships, direction.
Many people notice less background noise over time. Less guilty, less responsible, less struggle with what is.
Systemic coaching is coaching in which we do not only look at you as an individual, but at you as part of larger systems. The system of your family of origin. The system of your team or organisation. The system of your current relationships. All these systems have their own dynamics, places and unspoken rules. They work through in you, even when you are not aware of it.
Systemic work has a reputation of being vague. That picture is sometimes right and sometimes not. What we do together is not a mystical session where something mysterious happens. It is a sober way of looking at what is going on in the relationships between all aspects of a situation.
What happens concretely? We work with what are called representatives. Those are people or objects that in a session stand for parts of your system. Your parents, your brother, your partner, your work. By placing those representatives and seeing what moves, what stays invisible on normal conversation level becomes felt.
That sounds exotic if you do not know it. In practice it is almost always recognisable and grounded. You see something you have felt but could not name. You understand in a moment what you have tried to understand for years.
Systemic work is one of the three pillars I work with. Alongside Western psychology and Eastern wisdom. It is an integral, experience-based approach. We go beyond thinking. Everything connects.
Family constellations and organisational constellations are concrete working forms within systemic work. Family constellations explore your place in your family of origin and earlier generations. Organisational constellations do the same for work systems. Sometimes we do a constellation in a session. Sometimes the question is addressed without an explicit constellation and we work systemically without representatives.
What systemic coaching brings you is not new knowledge, but experiences from other perspectives. For those who have read and reflected a lot and still keep missing something, this form is often exactly the tool that was missing.
I work with people who feel that something keeps returning in their life that cannot be explained by their personal history alone. My approach combines psychology, systemic work and an integral, experience-based way of looking. No fixed step-by-step plan, no quick fix. But room to see more deeply what is actually going on and to move from there with more clarity. I work on location in The Hague. Sessions live indoor or outdoor, online or in combination.
Each package starts with a no-obligation introduction. We discuss your situation and look together at which package suits you. The sessions after that last 1.5 to 2 hours, so we can stand still with you with all the room and attention, without rush or pressure.
A compass for those who want to take a first step. In three sessions we look at what is going on, you recognise your patterns, beliefs and stories and you get fresh insights to take into your work straight away.
For those who want to go to the core. In six sessions we create room for essential change. You explore who you are beyond your patterns, beliefs and stories, and learn to live and work from there.
For specific questions such as (impending) burnout, grief, major life changes or reintegration. A package fully tuned to what you need.
Get in touch for a no-obligation proposal
After a completed package you can always come back for a single session of 1.5 to 2 hours. For a check-in, deepening, or when something new shows up on your path.
Many employers reimburse coaching through the training budget, so it is worth asking. Are the costs a barrier for you? Let me know. There is sometimes room.
In a no-obligation introduction we explore together what is going on and whether there is a click. No commitments, just an honest conversation.
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